September 26, 1992. Thank you my Lord for this fantastic trip. You have performed one miracle after another. Truly you have once again proven your wisdom, power and love--and I am overwhelmed with awe and thanks.
Years ago, new Christian, read The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boon. I thought, maybe one day I'll be put in concentration camp for my faith, and I want to be ready. Learned it years ago along with many others because I had read Corrie Ten Boon and wanted to have my mind full of Scriptures and hymns if I ever was confined in a concentration camp like she was. Someone has to know them. Right. And if God wanted me to share his songs to encourage others as such a time--I would. Even through I have a terrible voice. The heart and words are what counts.
So I learned all kinds of old hymns--like all those I could find by Fanny Crosby. Hymns like Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine, Face to Face with Christi my Savior and . One of my favorites was All the Way My Savior Leads me. Do you know that one? Let me tell you the first verse.... because this is what my Lord wants me to share with you. "All the Way my Savior Leads me....." Those songs kept me so close to Him --and filled with faith--during some very challenging years of my life. Sometimes when I forgot a melody because I had been singing others, he'd remind me. Like on a trip, when I was trying to remember the words to Be Thou My Vision.... and Andy, my husband, was flipping through some channels--and suddenly landed on a Christian station that immediately began to play Be Thou My Vision.
About the same time I went to my second woman’s retreat. The first was miserable. I was new and hardly anyone talked with me. I was so shy and quiet that I just avoided anyone. This time I was about 4 months pregnant. Didn't fit my usual clothes, but had given away my maternity clothes and hadn't bothered to get new ones yet. Looking fat and feeling ugly in lose baggy clothes before they became popular. Didn't know anyone. Didn't want to see anyone. Didn't know why in the world I had even come. I felt miserable. Friday night lecture--I sat way in the back. Speaker was Rosalind Rinker. She came to the podium, leaned on it, and the podium leaned with her. Startled, she pulled back. And the podium fell back into its proper position. She tried t again, and was visibly upset about this wobbly podium. Someone came in to fix it, through he had, and when he left the podium .....
I was sitting in the back watching the show from a safe distance. Didn't even care all that much. Then God spoke to my heart. He said, "I want you to go up there and fix it." I didn't even answer. Just got hot red and sweaty. I knew I couldn't do that. Even if I could, I certainly wouldn't walk up there in front of all those people. Even if I had proper clothes and didn't feel so ugly, I couldn't do that. So I just cringed in my seat. But my heart started pounding and I couldn't concentrate. All I heard was Do you love yourself more than me? Are you so afraid of what people will think that you won't do what I ask?
By this time Rinker was lecturing and it was no time to break in. But my heart was pounding so hard that I finally raised my hand. She ignored it. I waved. She looked the other way. I kept waving and finally she stopped talking and asked in a slightly irritated voice. Did you have a question?
I stood up as straight as I could on my trembling legs, and in a shaky voice said, "I think I can fix the podium."
come on up, then, she said. I don't think she believe me.
She stood silently and stared down at me along with everyone else as I walked that long isle. I don't think I have ever been more scared--or felt more miserable-- in my life. About four rows from the front, someone grabbed my hand--I happened to be walk close enough-- and pressed something into my hands and closed my fingers over it. I looked down. It was four emery boards. When I got up to the podium and pushed it, I could see that it sat in a well, I doubled those emery boards, making a think wad, and pushed them into the well--and it stood firm. Everyone clapped, she thanked me and I slunk back to my seat--still very miserable.
That was eighteen years ago, back when I was scared to death to open my mouth in a small group. I don't think anyone was more scared of speaking than I was, a year later, when for some incredible reason I was asked to give three lectures at PBC. That's another story--but God is the sufficient one.
In the same way God provided this week.
Two years ago I shared about--hold up charts. New Age astrology, spiritism (2 thousand children in LA, and so I do workshop ad teach on this. Most is in Under the Spell.
Going on one of my trips. Tell you what happened this last week. Now I always forget something--and God always solves my problems. Uses my weakness to prove His sufficiency.
Sitting on the planes singing
Last week I was preparing to leave for Texas. Didn't have time for haircut. Didn't start packing until midnight, Tried to find the phone number of someone I met last spring when in Dallas, couldn’t' find it. Prayed that God would put us in touch anyway.
Sitting on plane singing to myself "All the Way my Savior leads me" Anyway as I was singing these songs, I remembered that I had forgotten stockings and a slip. I asked God to take care of it. Looked at my turquoise watchband ad knew it wouldn't go with blue suit. Other watches had run out of battery power. All the Way my Savior leads me.
So I was singing this song and looking at the window as we flew over the painted desert and came close to the Grand Canyon. I could hardly wait. But the person on my right asked a question--which made me totally miss the sights outside. Flew to Dallas for the TSSA. Sat next to Maggie and her brand new husband on way to Spain for a honeymoon. Saw what I was reading and wondered if I was a Christian. Wanted to find a church when children were old enough--no children yet. We talked for about an hour about different kinds of churches and what it meant to be a Christian. Received Christ. Scriptures to meditate on
Checking in at the hotel, I asked where I could buy a slip. They told me about a mall nearby. Saw a tester and bought trolls. Got a haircut. A stand with watches. Found one the right color. Nice young man came looking for me. Had been worried when I didn't call.
Back at the hotel, looked through Andersons in Arlington and left a friendly message at one with the initial Ka. It was not the Kay I was looking for.
Next day, called Watchmen ministries. They sent a volunteer over to pick me up. One of Kay Anderson's close friends. She had just received a Muller's World Core curriculum--I quote from it in my book--but only from someone else's material. Wanted me to have a copy.
Next morning Day and Frances spent four hours showing me documenting global and New Age education across the country.