on NCLB was too insightful to
keep to myself. Unfortunately, I do not know the author and
cannot give credit where credit is due. Enjoy! Cindy Zipf
No Child Left Behind - Wrestling Version
1. All teams
must make the state championships, and all will win the
championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will
be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will
be held accountable. In a recent experiment, the University of
Nebraska football program modeled this theory.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same wrestling skills
at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions for
interest in wrestling, desire in athletics, genetic abilities or
disabilities.... ALL KIDS WILL WRESTLE AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.
3. Any school where men continue to outperform women in
wrestling will be placed on probation. Wrestling is a
non-traditional career in which women should be encouraged to
participate with equal success.
4. Talented wrestlers will be asked to work out on their own
without instruction, because the coaches will be using all their
instructional time with the athletes that aren't interested in
wrestling, have limited athletic ability, and whose parents
don't like wrestling.
5. Tournaments will be wrestled year round, but statistics will
only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th grades.
6. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is
expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will
reach the same minimal goals. If no child gets ahead, then no
child will be left behind.
Enthralled by Cultural Marxism
& Soviet system &
Sensitivity Training & Thought Reform