A heart-warning reminder to
celebrate the Resurrection each day
of our lives.
Ok here I go:
I grew up in a non-Christian family, although my family had several
Bibles, none of them really knew what treasure is within that singular book.
I’ve received a good education and although we were not a wealthy family my
people did a great effort to give me all that I needed. However the most
important thing that I did not receive, besides the fact of not having my
parents together, was Bible teachings.
When I was a bit older I begun to assist school, only to find that I
couldn’t learn as fast as the other kids. The teacher decided to speak with
my family after a while and she was worried about my behaviour and lack of
attention at class. So after a while, my grandparents took me over a
psychologist as they learn that I wasn’t performing well at school. The
conclusion of the psychologist was that I had dyslexia and motivity
difficulty. So my grandparents took me to other over several psychological
centres to check my problems. I spend a lot time with specialists who taught
me how to correctly speak and also “fix” my motivity issues. I can tell by
sure that I’ve never visited so many doctors.
Years after when I was 16, and my psychological problems were gone. Came the
time of my rebellious attitude against everything, family, friends etc. I
was living with my grandparents and after a while they couldn’t support
anymore my aggressive conduct against them. Consequently they called a
psychiatric that prescribe with some heavy medicaments that I did not want
to take, but I have no choice, there was a no for answer. For an estimated
period of 7 years I took medicaments to control my rage and depression
feelings, the only way I could live a normal life was with medicaments
help. Besides this, I felt comfortable that people were worried about me
and self-pity grew up in within me.
The people that passed trough deep depression know how dark it could be at
days, when everyone seems so far away from you. Although I was most of the
time in company of my relatives, I still felt alone. Peace was just a mere
word for me.
Hence begun my search for God, if He really existed I thought, He can help
me out from all my problems. Only difficulty was that I didn’t know how to
reach Him, the Bible seemed to me a weird and complicated book that only
wise people could understand. Then came the Virgin Mary to my mind, “She can
really help me get in contact with God. After all is Jesus mom”. But she
seemed so distant and cold while I was glancing at one of her sculptures.
This is not working, I said. I just wanted God to personally manifest in my
life, bringing answers to questions plus the solution of my problems.
One day while I was at home alone sat at the couch and I could hear the
noise of thunders far away, a big storm was approaching, and so in my hart.
Then begun the thinking of what I am doing on this horrible planet, why
doesn’t God answer me, and so on. I took my bicycle and went directly to the
beach, and I yelled at God: Why don’t you show yourself! If you are God,
show yourself right away! The sea was furious and the wind hit in my face,
but still, God did not make act of presence. Then I yelled with all my
strength: ¡God! Why you do this to me! ¡What did I in life to deserve this!
¡I just can’t anymore carry on with this suffering! ¡Where are you! I keep
yelling at Him irritated myself, screaming to Him all sorts of bad words.
But nothing happened, and I went to home all wet and dirty. Afterwards I
took my medicine and drank a lot of pill and went to bed. Two days after I
woke up, a doctor came while I was asleep; my mom told me that my hart was
running so fast that I could have had a heart attack. God alone in His great
mercy did not allow anything serious occur to me, even with all that I said
to Him at beach. It was not the first time I tried to commit suicide.
When I was 23 I was living in Turkey with my family, cause my idea was to
move to Spain from that country Things started to change; I left behind my
medicine and started all over again. But still I did not know God, in fact I
give up in my looking to Him, I just believed in the theory of evolution,
new era and yes, I believed in a God, but not the Biblical God. It was one
day while surfing the web, looking for info about meteorological climate
changes (as it was one of my preferred readings) that I found a Christian
page with that sort of info but applied to the Biblical prospect. At first,
I only cared about reading what I found interesting, and I did not mind much
about the repentance of sins and accepting Jesus as our only Saviour. Why
should I need repentance of sins, I thought. I wrongly believed that God was
in good communion with me. Anyway, I just kept studying all the commentary
available in that web page. One day reading one of those articles, I finally
realized I was not in good communion with God as I thought I was. Fear took
control of myself, what then if I wasn’t saved, where would I go when I die,
to hell or heaven? Yes, my destination would have been the first one as the
Bible declared for those that don’t repent, and believe to Christ as their
Saviour. So, worried for myself I read the prayer of sin, I repented and
asked Jesus to be the saviour of my life. So day by day I studied the Bible,
my commences were not very good as I begun reading the Old Testament and I
applied to my life what was written in that book. But God showed me exactly
were to read and what Jesus taught His disciples and children’s to obey and
Two years ago I accepted Jesus Christ in my life, I got baptized in His
name, and enjoy the communion with my sisters and brothers. After all that
time looking for God, He finally showed up in the presence of Jesus when I
wasn’t looking for Him. He was working trough my problems since I was a kid,
and when I see all that He has done for me trough these years, I can only be
very thankful for save me. I know since then that I`ve never been alone,
even when I though I was. He was there with me, only that He didn’t manifest
in body, as I wanted Him to do from the beginning.
In the world I have not found peace, neither eternal life, nor real love,
but God gave me from His for free. My wait for Him have worth the time and
suffering. Finally, I’d like to add some vesicles that I like much.
The Spirit and the bride
say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him
come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.
He who testifies to these
things says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
Berit thank you for inviting me to write this testimony let’s hope that God
can reach someone trough it. May be His will done.
Much blessings my dear sis and God richly bless you.
See also: What it
means to be a Christian
The Old Rugged Cross &
Links: The Cross and the Resurrection